Snoop Dogg the Weedhog
by FaZeMLGDoritosMtnDew420BLaZeiT
Summary: In this epic 3 part tale, you will observe the perils that musician Snoop Dogg must face in this epic journey. OBSERVE!; as Snoop Doggs career is cut short by the end of the world. WATCH! as The Dogg breaks out of a heavily guarded prison and saves millions of innocent lives. SEE! as tragedy strikes our fated hero. PERUSE! as an evil greater than anything tries to destroy humanity!


Snoopdog the Weedhog

**Chapter 1 The Begening**

It was a quiet and calm day in southern Los Angeles. Snoop dogg (now known as snoop lion but I perfrer snopdog) was enjoying himself in the penthouse condo in the Lexington Building in southern Los Angeles. Not much of anything interesting was going on. Snoop dogg had ordered Chinese food a few minutes prior and was eagerly awaiting it's arrival. He was also watching The Interview (starring Seth Rogan) whilst smoking some cannabis. He was up to the part where Rogan and the fat guy were traing ith the FBI. Snoop dogg laughed as they idiotically sat on the poison strings that were groig to be used to kill Kim Jong Un (this was just a movie this did not happen in real life).

**Meanwhie in a secret government laboratory…**

"Damn it!" yelled Dr. Fritzgerald (with a heavy geman accent). "I almost had the phased flux inducer arrays recalibrated to compensate for phase distortion fluctuations!".

"Calm down" said Dr. Blitzkrieg "Ze phase inducer arrays are within nominal levels" "Zer is no need to very about zat".

"But if even a single polarized tachyon particle exits the fusion flux inverter chamber it will cause a cascade event in the subspace continuum!" yelled Dr. Fritzgerald with great urgency.

"Nein we begin the sequence immediatly" Demanded Dr. Blitzkrieg.

However, Dr. Fritzgerald was correct in his theories and a cascade effect did occur.

*loud sirens* "Oh, now you have done zit!" Yelled Dr. Blitzkrieg. "Vhy are you blaming me, you the one who demanded zat ze sequence be started anyvay!" responded Dr. Fritzgerald

The two german doctors continued to argue as spacetime began to collapse around them. An explosion of epic proportions threw Earth thousands of light years away.

**Meanwhile on Mobius…**

"Snivley!" yelled Dr. Robotnik! "What is it sir" nerously replied Snivley.

"I ordered prune from the command centers mess hall and this is what it came in!" said Robotnik holding a mug with Sonics face on it.

"I don't know why the hedgehogs face is pasted on that mug sir" said Snivley

"Perhaps it was a security breach"

"A breac in a security system that you designed!" yelled Robotnik "I will have your head for this if you do not fix this little hole of yours! Do I make myself clear!" yelled Robotnik. "Yes sir" said Snivley while gulping.

*loud alarm in room going off*

"What now!" exclaimed Robotnik

"There is an object coming in at high warp." Said Snivley

"hat do ou mean there is an object cming in at high warp" explained robotnik.

"It appears to be (diameter of the earth) in diameter." Said snivley

"What! how is that possible !" yelled robotnik.

"It appears to be coming in at 9001 light years per second!" said snivley.

"wait it appears to be slowing down now. 3000, 2000, 1000, 250, 100, 10, 5, 1 light year per second."  
"it appears t have stopped about .2 AU away from our location."

"it also appears to have a moon orbiting it."

**Meanwhile in southern LA…**

Snoop dogg was still sitting in his condo even though the earth had been torn to shreds by trevaling at 9 million times the speed of light. *ring ring buzz from the doggs Iphone* "Snoop, baby it's me, mark, listen umm its kinda hard to explain this but most of LA is on fire and there is lava in the streets" said Snoops agent Mark. "Yo, shit I see whatcha mean dawg, yo I thought I was like high or sumthin" replied The dogg. "I know right, it just came completely out of no where, I mean I was just sitting there, jut sitting there in my hotel room and BOOm big explosion and lots of rumbling and stuff. Anyway that's beside the main problem. Look, ive got Elon Musk on the pone right now, you rom spaceX" "yeah, that company that sends rockets n' shit up into space or somethin'" said Snoop Dogg. "Well he has determined that the world in going to implode within three hours, now Ive already booked a seat on his private spaceplane but he also wants you to come along too! Isnt that generous, what a great guy, you know I don't think ive ever met someone as generous as this guy, well except for you of course, dawg." "yeah sure whatevah you say man" said Snoop. "So are you oing to come or not?" said mark "yo sure whatevah you wanna do man"

"alright, cool, cool, ool, well Mr. uh Musk here is going to pick you up at um, where are you right now?" "Im in my room, you know where I chill dontcha dawg" said Snoop Dogg "yeah the uh lexington, right, yeah yeah it's the Lexington. Alright well Elon is going to come and pick you up any time now so hang tight, maybe have a couple of drinks, wathc some movies on Netflix, or maybe smoke a little bit of cannabis or something" said mark.

"yo dawg you already know that I smoke weed everyday right, well anyway Im jus gonna chill here till Alex or whatevah his name is gets here."

Suddenly a helicopter lands on the roof of the Lexington. It appears to be powered by Elon Musks new turbo Tesla engine. "Mr. Snoop Dogg" said musk. "Get in quickly there is no time to waste".  
Snoop dogg got up and packed his bags with some cloths, a MAC-10, a couple of beers and two bricks of a familiar green plant.

The helicopter rushed to Musks mansion which has a landing strp for spaceplanes and a launch tower for rockets along with a massive parking garage filled with various models of the Tesla. The helicopter landed in front of musks mansion and the people inside got out. "My hyperloop will take us the rest of the way" said musk.

The people got into Musks hyperloop and it rushed the to the launch pad where the spaceplane was located.

The people stood in awe the sight of Elon Musks personal spaceplane.

"This is the SpaceX 737, it is a VTOL capable spaceplane with two heavy turbojet engines and two LV-N Nuclear rockets. It uses MechJeb 2.0 for automatic guidance and the wings were constructed with Procedural Wings v1.8. It is the best in her class and we are leaving earth on her."

Everybody boarded Elon Musks spaceplane.

Musk took the helm and engaged the VTOL engines that he had set to action groups in the spaceplane hangar. The plane began to hover while snoop dogg lit one up.

"Yo I dunnobout yall but im gonna smoke dis weed here if ya don't mind." Said snoop dogg.

The plane then engaged its turbojet engines at 5km and proceeded to fly to the edge of space. The passengers looked down at earth as it burned and shook. "Sucks to be them" said snoop dogg.

Elon burned at apoapsis and continued until they reached escape velocity.

**Chapper Twop: Snoop Dogg goes to Mobius.**

"Alright" said elon, "We have now exited eearth sphere of influence and are now entering Mobiuses gravitational pull".

The spaceplane then aerobaked around Mobius and reached a periapsis of (stable orbit).

The spaceplane then used MechJeb 2.0s automatic landing guidance helper to land on Mobius.

The doors of the spaceplane opened and Elon Musk and Barrack Obama (who also boarded the spaceplane) were greeted by a familiar figure.

"Hello" snickered Dr. Robotnik "Welcome to Mobius strange visitors"

"We have been expecting you arrival for many days now. Please, come with me back to the city and stay in one of our many guest facilities"

"But we don't have any guest facilities" whispered Snivley.  
"I am aware of that!" said robotnik quietly.

Everybody boarded robotniks hovercraft. Robotnik laughed deviously as they did so.

Snoop Dogg proceeded to light another joint inside of the craft.

"Citizen, there is no smoking allowed in the vehicle" ordered a SWATBot

Snoop Dogg replied by giving the SWATBot the middle finger.

The craft flew over green hills and lush forests. However, the environment quickly changed as they approached the city. The grass had turned a browner color and the sky was filled with thick smog from the steel mills. The hovercraft landed at robotniks superfortress. The people got out and were suddenly surprised to see SWATBots pointing their weapons at them.

"Welcome to robotropolis" said robotnik "Enjoy our stay!" Robotnik then laughed maniacally.

All of the passengers were forced into the detention block and locked up in the cells.

"Let me out" demanded Obama "I am the president of the united states and I demand to be released"

"Yo obizzle" said Snoop dogg who was in the cell next to Obamas, "will you like, calm it down im tryin to relax y'know so shut it"

Snoop dogg proceeded to light another joint. Barack Obama looked back with great duress. It was clear Obama did not enjoy being in a prison cell next to the Dogg.

Suddenly, a SWATBot opened Elon Musks cell and take him away to the ed of the hallway.

"Where are you taking me" yelled Musk.

"To Robotniks chamber" retorted the SWATBot.

Musk was taken to robotnik chamber and was forcibly seated in front of the doctors desk.

"Well well well, isn't this just grand." Said rootnik, sinisterly.

"What do you want with me" said musk.

"I found your vessel to be quite a formidable craft. So I want you to design a weaponized version for me!"

"And why should I do that" said musk

"Because you don't have any other choice" said robotnik.

"So youll kill me otherwise" said musk.

"Oh of coarse not *evil laugh* I will send you to the roboticizer" said robotnik

"Roboti-what" replied musk in a confused manner.

"Well whatever it is it doesn't sound too pleasant. Okay, ill help you build weapons but on one condition."

"I don't think your in any position to make demands" said robotnik

"I wont help you unless you do one thing for me" said musk

"I will help you unconditionally if you let my friends go"

"Hmmm" robotnik pondered this demand "Okay fine, I will let your friends go"

"however, to make sure that you don't let me down I will release them one at a time. Say, twenty warships for one prisoner and if you don't meet my quota I will send them all to the roboticizer! Sound good?"

"What is your quota" said musk

"1000 per month starting from today!" said robotnik

"Alright fine" said musk.

"Then it's a deal" asked robotnik

Musk then nodded his head up and dwn to signal that he agreed to robotniks terms.

Musk was then escorted by a SWATBot to a nicer room on the upper levels of robotniks fortress.

**Meanwhile in the detention center…**

"What is taken Mr Musk so long!" Exclaimed John Boehner (who was also on the spaceplane).

"It gonna take as long as it takes" replied Joe Biden (who was also on the spaceplane).

"It possible that they killed him" said Eminem.

"Y'know, this robotnik guy seems like on mean motherfucker. How do we know that he isn't jut gonna kill us all" said Eminem. "The only way any of us are gonna survive this is if we bust outa here"

"Do you have any suggestions Eminem cause im all ears" said John Boehner.

"Wait a second!" exclaimed Obama.

Obama pointed to Snoop Doggs MAC-10. Which he had the entire time.

"Hey Snoop Dogg! Whats that in your pocket!" Yelled Obama.

Snoop dog, who was clearly stoned said "Yo this thing. Shit I totally orget I had dis. Yeah this is my gun. Hey wait maybe I can like blast outa here or sumthin"

Snoop Dogg grabbed his MAC-10 and used his weed to pick the lock to the cell. 4 SWATBots came charging down the long corridor and egan firing on Snoop. The Dogg then lit one up and proceeded to unload an entire magazine into the chatging SWATBots using the power of weed.

Snoop Dogg then proceeded to break everyone ou of the jail cells and help them escape into the hangar area of robotniks fortress.

"Yo everyone get in before those fuckas catch up to us 'n break our shit" said Dogg.

Snoop Dogg then sarted up the the hovercraft and then flew away from the city (DO NOT ASK HOW SNOOPDOGG KNOW HOW TO PILOT THE HOVERCRAFT HE USED THE POWER OF WEED!) Suddenly two hoevercraftes come out of nowhere and start fire on Snop Doggs hovercraft. Snoop Dogg then rolled down the window of the hovercraft and performed a driveby and destroyed the two hovercraft chasing them. "MuthaFuckas" yelled Snoop Dogg as he shot up the hovercraft.

"Wait" siad Shaq "Ant we going to get Musk too".

"No way" said snoo dogg "That motherfucka betayin us. Hes gonna burn" (DO NOT ASK HOW SNOOP DOGG KNOWS THAT ELON MUK BETRAYED THEM HE USED THE POWER OF WEED YOU STOOPID HATERS STOP ASKING ME ABOUT THAT ALREADY YOU FREAKING IDIOTS!1!1!2!)

SNOOP DOGG THEN WENT AND LANDED AT KNOTHOLE AND LANDED AND MET SONIC AND COMPANY (soory for all caps I was still angry when I wrote this part. IF YOU DON WANT THIS TO HAPPEN STOP COMPLAYNING ALLREADY!)

"What is that? said sonic"

"It appears to be one of robotniks hovercraft!" said Sally.

The doors to the hovercraft opened and everbody stepped out.

"My fellow Americans," said barack Obama "We ae form the planet earth. We come in-" "Don't listen to this guy " said John Boehner. "This guy, you see, hes a moron. Whatever you do don't listen to hi he is just a dumb democrat. I on the other hand am a god fearing republican"

"Who are you calling a dumb democrat!?" Yelled Obama.

"im calling you a dumb democrat" said Boehner.

"Yeah well you are a stupid republican" retorted Obama!

The two continued to exchange insults until fists began to swing.

***FIGHT SCENE***

**OBAMA: 100HP  
BOEHNER: 100HP  
**

Obama punched Boehner in the face and it hurt really ba so Boehner grunted in response *loud grunt* (boehner -5hp) Boehner then kicked obama in the shin and nocked him to the round he then proceded to kick him(Obama – 13hp) obama got up and roundhouse kicked boehner in the face giving him a bloody nose(Boehner -14hp) Obama then karate chopped Boehners arm and flipped him over (Boehner -16hp) Boehner then body slammed Obama bruiseing obamas elbow(Obama -14hp) Suddenly Obama pulled his suit off reaviling his white dress shirt and distracted Boehner long enough for him joe biden to remove his shirt and body slam Boehner (Boehner – 90hp)

**WINNER: OBAMA AND BIDEN**

"Woah, said sonic. THAt was a pretty rad rumble."

*wrestling bell* "And the winner is: Barack Obama!" said John Madden.

Rotor then asked Snoop Dogg "Hi there"

"You guys arnt rom around here are you?"

"No, course we aint from aound heere" said Snoop

"We from a place called earth butchta see it was blown up fo sum reason Idk" said Snoop

"Hi there, this is my client, snoop Dogg, it is so great to um meet you guys. So , where is the hot tub?" said mark.

Sonic and friends looked at eacoteher with confusion.

Marks smile began to fade as he realzed there was no hotel, no bar and no hot tub. Worst of all no starbucks.

**MEANWHILE IN ROBOTROPOLIS…**

Elon Musk was putting the finishing touches on the designs to the MuskBomber.

"ELON!" Yelled robotnik.

"Your friends have escaped from my holding cells!"

"What do you mean they escaped from your holding cells?" said Musk

"I mean they escaped. Now that you've finished the plans I have no further use for you!" said robotnik.

"Wait. We had an agreement!" yelled musk.

"the agreement was that I would release your friends after you built me my bombers!"

"now that your friends are no longer under my control the agreement is void" said robotnik.

"NOOOOOOOOO!" Yelled musk as he was dragged away to the roboticizer.

*roboticizer noises*

"AHHH!" exclaimed a perturbed musk. *Camera pans down to reveal a roboticized musk*

*Robot noises* "Beep Boop, this is Robo-Musk reporting for duty" said Robo-Musk.

Robotnik then laughed maniacally "Now I have you hedgehog!".

**MEANWHLE IN SPACE AROUND MOBIUS(periapsis of 95km, apoapsis of 120km I AM NOT VERY GOOD AT KERBAL SPACE PRORGRAM STOP YELLING AT ME ABOUT MY ORBITS I DON'T WANT TO HAVE TO WATCH SCOTT MANLEYS TUTORIALS)…**

*The camera pans to reveal a small MK1 command module orbiting Mobius(orbital values stated above)*

"Dammzit" said Dr. Fritzgerald "Ve are not in a stable orbit!"

"Stop complaining about ze orbit" retorted Dr. blitzkrieg

"Are ve going to land anytime soon or do you vant to keep drifting in space!" said Dr. Fritzgerald "Ve are landing right now! You idiot!" said Dr. Blitzkrieg.

The small one man capsule then burned at aopapsis to bring their periapsis down at a low angle so they don't come in too fast. They then pressed the space bar to stage the rocket and separate the capsule from the rest of the rocket and enter the atmosphere. The capsule slowed down to 200ms and then the parachute deployed but didn't deploy because it was set to deploy at 1500m.

The capsule was pointed retrograde on the navbal so they wouldnt land upside down. They then landed at 9ms and went EVA to robotniks fortress.

-SOME TIME LATER

The two bickering scientists reached robotniks lair and went upstairs the SWATBots didn't seem to care that they were there.

*the camera pans to reveal the two scientists standing at the other end of the room, robotnik is shrouded in the dark shadow making it hard to see him in the darkness of the shadowed room that was not well lit and had an evil, ominous tone in the surrounding dim light that was not particularly present around robotniks relative location in the interior space*

"Ah. I have been expecting you two!" *Evil laugh*

**To be continued…**


End file.
